Taming the Jungle, Unleashing the Beasts

We had almost four days of sunshine this week! Amazing!

We wisely took advantage of the drop in relative humidity to somewhere below 100% by tackling some yard work.

There were three major yard issues that needed our immediate attention. First, the vines under our house which are slowly eating our foundation. Second, the lawn that never stops growing. Third, the cats were loosing their minds without access to the great outdoors.

The vines will be familiar to anyone who has ever had house plants: Pothos, sometimes labeled as a Philodendron (actually a Monstereae but same family as Philodendrons). This vine puts out tons of air roots, has a waxy cuticle which inhibits herbicide uptake, thrives in low light conditions, climbs aggressively, and the stems break when you pull it. I'd call it the tropical version of crab grass, but crab grass loves the tropics, they're just good friends. These vines demolished three posts in our foundation before we even bought the house. To prevent further damage, I applied an herbicide to the entire crawl space two weeks ago. The die back was slow and uneven.

After waiting over two weeks for these vines to curl up and die, I resigned myself to some claustrophobic/contortionist weed pulling. We have a carpenter coming to repair the foundation and the joists under the porch this weekend, I want the area he'll be working in as clean as possible. Over the course of two days I have pulled 95% of the vines under our house. The rest I'll get when I rake out the leaf litter, trash, and rodent skeletons tomorrow and Thursday. Between the vines and crap under the house and our moving boxes, I've got a pretty decent sized compost pile started. The leaf litter should really help kick-start the composting process.

And now the lawn. Something many of you may not know about me: I'm extremely conflicted about power tools. While I love a labor-saver (power saws, drills, blenders) I resent any tool which makes a great deal of noise doing a job a healthy person could do quietly and just as quickly (I'm looking at you leaf blowers). I don't like vacuum cleaners, they're loud. I don't like gas mowers, they're loud and fling rocks. I don't like leaf blowers, they're loud and toss grit and don't solve the problem. I'd rather sweep, I'd rather rake, I'd rather push a manual reel mower.

So we bought a manual mower. Why? Well, because after debating the pros and cons of man-powered scythes and gas-powered grass-pulpers for the better part of a month we went to Home Depot and check out their 20" manual mower. It wasn't any heavier than the cheapest gas mower (which isn't self-propelled) and they cost about the same. Our carbon-guilt eventually made the decision for us: manual mower. Good news, it works great. Our lawn looks almost as well kept the others on our street. Success! I can mow without feeling like I need goggles and steel toes, I don't need to buy a gas can, and we could mow at 7am on Saturday without pissing anyone off.

I also planted a couple of agave seedlings I collected from our rental in the rainforest. They're small, but they'll grow slowly!! Ryan pulled weeds along the driveway. I'd post pictures, but for the amount of work we did, the results are depressingly spare.

Finally, the cat door. Of course, the first project we undertake that actually involves modifying the house instead of just cleaning it up would be for the kitties. Selfish brats, my bathroom is a coffin, and they now have a fabulous cat door with two shelves installed on the sheltered kitchen window by the back door. They can now go outside* and check the weather without ever getting their feet wet. Installing a pet door into a copper screen is significantly more difficult than into nylon screen due to the lack of "give" in a copper screen and the relatively brittle nature of the individual wires. Now that it's in there, I don't think it's going anywhere for a good long time, though. Chuckles has thanked us by bringing large cockroaches into the living room and chewing off their legs. The damn things are longer than my thumb and they never die. No frogs yet, though. If anyone would like to make a guess as to when we find our first dismembered amphibian leave a date in the comments; closest guess will get a box of shortbread cookies. I'd send you the frog, but there are federal and state laws against that sort of thing.

Next on the list: replacing light fixtures, removing a kitchen cabinet, wiring, and carpet removal.
*It took the kittens a total of 24 hours to master the new cat door. It took Sadie 3 days, and she had one just like it for two years on Maui. I should be grateful, it took nearly six weeks to get her to use the Maui cat door on her own.

Baby Steps

Here is a rundown of things we've fixed since we moved in. We would have gotten more done but Ryan brought home scarlet fever or SARS or something and we've been under the weather and unpacking.

First, our kitchen has problems.

The fridge that came with the house doesn't work, 52F is not a safe food storage temperature. A fridge should keep food between 37F and 41F, it seems low, but it's not. 52F is like begging your mayo or milk to kill you in the most horrible way imaginable. So we got a mini-fridge as a stopgap until one of us caves in the great fridge standoff of 2012.

The cabinetry was filthy. So very, very gross. I cleaned most of the cabinets inside and out, it took several hours over the course of two days. I threw out fourteen roach traps (I counted), two of which actually had roach egg cases attached to them. The pictures don't do it justice. Think about the kitchen the family from the Texas chainsaw massacre would have, or one from a home in Silent Hill (minus blood) and you get the idea.

The cupboards and drawers were sticky to the touch.

I actually had to remove the hardware (and last coat of paint) to get these clean.

The top shelf is clean and the bottom one isn't in this pic. No live roaches have been spotted yet, small favors.

The kitchen door is custom. I like it, but it needs a bit of spiffing. Molding is falling apart, the little latch that holds up the sliding screen shutter is broken, and the lower half could use a cat door.

We had to do a little carpentry to get the
deadbolt in. Good thing I bought a mitre saw. We'll have to do a little more to make it not look condemned.

This is the latch to close the window in the kitchen door.
The guys at Home Depot have no idea where I can
 get a replacement. Also, nearly impossible to scrub clean.

Second, the windows were basically opaque with copper sulfate residue. 

So the screens and windows got a good going over. It's brightened up the house considerably but now we really need to put up the curtains.

First Bedroom, now with street
view and one pet screen. 

Second Bedroom, now with garden view.
Also note the paint removal testing in
progress. Citrus paint stripper vs. lead
paint: lead paint wins.

Third Bedroom, now with
laundry shed "view". 

Screen repair, window cleaning, and window dressing. My living room has over 100 square feet of windows. I need a 10' curtain rod and more 63" panels. My Target doesn't carry them anymore and they won't ship to Hawaii from the online store. If you're interested in being my mainland source for curtains and curtain rods, hit me up and I'll send you the specs. I'm good for it, I swear.

The "rust" from one screen. There are 16 this size.
Plus the two enormous ones in the living room, we wore dust masks.
Safety first!

Copper screens, neat, they oxidize green and are more salt resistant than steel. The oxidate is copper sulfate from the volcanic acid rain reacting with the metal. Ryan says that inhalation is contra-indicated, yay dust masks.

It's hard to take pictures of screens. This is a 1" square patch
in the kitchen, we did a handful of these using the screen from
the one we replaced.

From the inside, the difference is not
so jarring. But this was the only one
beyond saving by patching.

Patching metal screens is a pretty neat process. First, you cut a piece of screen a bit larger than the hole. Then you pull away woven strands from the edges of your patch so it's sort of "frayed". Then you bend the frayed edges perpendicular to the patch face and push them through the screen around the hole. Finally you use a couple chunks of wood and a small hammer or mallet to bend the edges towards the center of the patch and flat against the screen.

Finally, we come to Reader Requests! 

Jane, the dear, has asked for photos of unusual household pests and Ryan's butt. If you have something you'd like to see, or have questions about, please let me know and I'll add it to a future post.

Kittens are not unusual, but are definitely pests. I'm sure I'll get some good shots of the geckos and frogs soon. It rains [heavily and continuously] here, hence the high-water look we're both sporting. Not shown: other two cats going on with their lives.

Chuckles, the goof, was most upset about the
move and became a burrowing cat. For an entire
 day, whenever we sat down, he cuddled
aggressively.

And the move was traumatic for Ryan as well. He
refused to wait for my help with a heavy box and
nearly broke a toe.

The ventilation for the attic should be screened to keep out critters. But most of ours were open or shredded. My hero replaced those. Sexy handyman, ahoy!

Why did I make the tall guy crawl up into the attic?

Because his arms are the only ones long enough to get to the eaves. Not because I needed a shot of his behind, I swear.

P.S. Please pardon my totally peculiar formatting. I'm working on it.

No Pic Update

No pics, just a quick update.

We've hired an electrician and a carpenter, each will start work in the next couple weeks and we'll be on our way to a less dilapidated shack.

Also, we've not settled on a refrigerator, so I got a mini-fridge as a stopgap, since I can't even keep miso from going bad in the one that came with the house.